A Million In A Million

You swore. You swore on us, which turned out to defeat its purpose. You told me you loved me and let me suffer through the years, knowing it would end. You swore. You swore you didn't need more than me, then you sucked the beauty out of all who passed, and refused to see how it, also, sucked the beauty out of me.

"Why would I want to be with this?" The words saturate all my vital organs, making them throb and bleed. You made me like this, why didn't you just keep loving me? Was I that boring?

I can see you, in the future. I can smell  their perfume and I can hear your words, whispered softly in their ear, "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever been with." But, you were with me. Will you tell her that you cried over me, drowned by misery and longing? Will you explain that you loved me more  than any human should love anything? Will you admit that you lie, or rather, promise with no means of producing? Will you tell her that you broke me, because you didn't want anything else to touch me...?

This is the end for me. I can not breathe another day, wishing I was something. The something, that many have told me I was, then left me standing, solitary, to find something more astonishing, whatever it may be. I can not live in a world where men lust after guilty pleasures and can not bear to think of anything that might be called monogamy. You're foolish. You will never find anyone like me, and perhaps that's the thing that, to you, is so appealing. No one will love you the way I love you. Never. I'd die for you, kill for you, suffer for you. Do not say your sorry, when you're hands left me for dead. Your promises destroyed me.