Two Peas Being Eaten Alive

I love you. Too much. Not enough.
I hate you. Not a lot. Unavoidably& persistantly;
For not letting me try harder.
I want you. More than the starving need food & the homeless need shelter.
I fucked up. Over and over. I'm sorry.
I cry. Night. Day.
I dream. You love me too, then suddenly you love her.
I dream that you're making love to me... Then that you're making love to her.
I miss your hands in mine. On my face. On my skin.
I miss your lips pressed against mine. Kisses all day. All night.
Your hands aren't mine. Your lips aren't mine. You're not mine.
You no longer wake up next to me. You wake up next to her.
You no longer smile when you see me. I see you no more.
It wasn't worth it. All of them. All that I've done.
Now I have none of it. I lost you too.
I'd take it back if I could. I'd start new. I miss you. I love you.
"You'll get better, Samantha. You'll move on."
I won't. You were the love of my life. No one can tell me different.
Why wasn't I yours? Is it because of all that happened?
Is it because I wasn't what you hoped?
Was it because you found a world of better women?
I never stopped loving you when you hurt me.
I never stopped wanting you when you kept living the way you wanted.
I never stopped longing for you when I was swooned by other men.
I'm sorry I didn't try harder.
I'm sorry I wasn't better.
I know you'll be happier.
I'll never heal from you.
You are my forever love.
My heart will pine for you eternally.
You gave me everything.
Please, return to me.
We can forget everything.
Start new. Love passionately.